I got a bad review!

We are not perfect and knowing how to face negativity is a pillar to being of service.

Dealing with a negative review can feel like a punch to the gut; I pour my heart and soul into the services I provide. It’s easy to get defensive, to want to argue, or even to ignore it entirely. But a bad review, while unpleasant, can actually be a powerful tool for growth if handled correctly.

First, take a deep breath. It’s important to respond calmly and professionally, not emotionally. Remember that this isn't a personal attack, but feedback on an experience.

Next, acknowledge the reviewer's concerns. Validate their feelings, even if you don't agree with their assessment. A simple "I'm sorry to hear you had a negative experience" goes a long way. Avoid making excuses or blaming external factors.

Then, offer a solution or next steps. This could be an apology, an offer to make things right, or an invitation to discuss the issue further offline. The goal is to show that you're committed to customer satisfaction and are willing to rectify mistakes.

Finally, thank them for their feedback. Even a negative review provides valuable insights into areas where you can improve. Use it as an opportunity to learn and grow.

A bad review isn't the end of the world. It's a chance to demonstrate your commitment and to refine your offerings. By responding thoughtfully and proactively, you can turn a negative into a positive, building trust and strengthening your brand in the process. This isn’t always what happens however…

Here is a story about a bad review I received:

I began working with a family for birth doula services; Mom was a lawyer for a healthcare company. In the beginning all was well until her birth plan changed significantly.

She was in the hospital for sometime and I went to see her and with her permission went home as her labor was slow to progress. I kept contact via text and at around 10 or 11pm I received correspondence that she was being prepped for a c-section. I informed her that I would not be allowed into the operating room and by the time I arrived she would be in surgery.

She was, understandably, upset about many things and she let me know that she wanted me present. I informed her that I could wait in the waiting room but I may not be allowed into postpartum due to the time of day and when visitors were allowed. She heard this as me making excuses for why I would not be present and I did all I could to explain that I was not legally allowed into the operating room and that the hospital had rules regarding visitors. No matter what I said she felt everything wrong was my fault and let me know as such.

Later, I tried to touch base and she, nor her husband, would answer text or calls. I then found out she reached out to another doula, whom I did not know, and explained her side of the story. The doula then validated her and suggested she retaliate against me. The client then wrote a negative review on Google and Yelp including screenshots of our conversation. I reached out to the other doula and it was somewhat helpful. The doula realized that she had spoken out of turn without knowing the entire story. In addition, she was leaving the profession and realized the impact her advice to the client had on me. The doula asked if there was anything she could do and I said at that point there was nothing but to be more mindful in the future. 

The bad reviews remain up and every so often someone reaches out wanting more information to which I say I will speak by phone as I must protect the clients privacy and information. Often this is seen as me ducking away from accountability.

A client pprojecting the outcome of their birth on me has happened at a few times in my 18 year career. I am the easiest target, as it is difficult to bring healthcare practitioners/hospitals to accountability and often people are afraid to be angry at their provider. In this instance the only action that would have made the client happy would have been for me to be in the operating room and then waiting in postpartum for her, both of which I would not have been allowed to do. Calling your doula as they prep you for surgery just to be angry they can’t be present is a set up for everyone. I continue to be saddened at how everything transpired for this client and I hope she found healing.

Since then I have done what I can to ensure that I am clear about what hospitals allow me to do and what they don’t allow me to do.

The bottom line is this: Doulas, friends, family members, and out of hospital midwives have very little say or power once you are in the hospital. I encourage everyone to really read what you sign when receiving care so that you are aware of your rights. As the client, you have some power and some say but ultimately the highest ranking healthcare provider has the last word on your care. This can include: Nurses, Nurse Midwives, OB’s and Chief of medicine. If something goes wrong whomever has the most training and the highest credential is who is deemed at fault when the incident occurred.

I hope to speak more on patient rights and what to keep in mind as you choose your care provider and place of care. I hope my being vulnerable will allow others to know they don’t have to be perfect.